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Colton's heart is smashed to bits in what is literally the most dramatic episode in history.

I am pleased beyond all belief to tell you that our time has come. This is our Independence Day. Join me as we relive what might actually be the most dramatic episode ever. We begin our descent into Coltpn with a super awkward sex talk between Colton and Papa Chris Harrison.

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It might as well be the man who has single-handedly caused 12, contestants to forgo their individual rooms and spend the Colton desperate girls for sex together in the fantasy suite. Colton tells Coltin and millions of viewers at home that he could see himself getting deflowered by one of these women on national television if he is in love with them.

This round goes to you.

Meanwhile, Colton stares off into the sunset as he contemplates the girps lovemaking that he hopes to experience on national television. Tayshia shows up for her date wearing a black leather jacket draped casually over her shoulders like Sandy in the end of Grease. Colton has dressed up his t-shirt with a scarf.

They hop on a helicopter, Colton desperate girls for sex is a great date because it means Tayshia gets to put headphones on and tune Colton out. I will definitely buy some.

I would not be surprised. For 2.

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What purpose does this jacket of yours serve if not to warm your arms, Tayshia? Quit playing these mind games!

Colton attempts to make a heartfelt speech about their relationship and whoops Tayshia has a nip slip. It happens. Things get serious, post-nip-slip, and Tayshia tells Colton that she was a Colton desperate girls for sex until she got married and also that her husband cheated on her a year into their marriage. Tayshia and Colton are Granby wife fuck a card handwritten by a year-old girl but signed by Chris Harrison offering them a chance to stay in the fantasy suite.

He will.

In the fantasy suite, Colton tries to open a bottle of Champagne and it preemptively fires off without warning. A little foreshadowing, perhaps? We return from a commercial break and see a shot of a bird and a bee.

Birds and bees, get it? Oh god, did she have to talk to him all night? That sounds like a fate worse than death.

They have an awkward des;erate coffee chat in front of cameras and then Colton leaves. Colton is super stoked for his overnight date with Cassie.

Mar 5, Colton's heart is smashed to bits in what is literally the most dramatic episode in history. Jan 7, Miss Alabama isn't a virgin, but she thinks “sex is a big deal,” which makes . Onyeka confronts Catherine and tells her that she “looks a little desperate. with a number of girls, and makes out with a handful of them, Colton. Jan 15, Colton had his first one-on-one date of the season, and it was extremely uncomfortable. a previous relationship: She wanted to wait until marriage to have sex, but Like the sorority girl who once fought her for a virgin, Tracy found her As the night went on, desperate ploys for attention moved on to air.

She shows up desperxte a Colton desperate girls for sex sweater topped with an even bulkier sweater, in an apparent attempt to look as frumpy as possible so Colton Sun LA bi horney housewifes dump her. They drive in a convertible and kiss whilst driving unsafe on their way to a sidewalk cafe. Cassie smashes whipped cream on his nose because the only reference point these women have for adult relationships is romantic comedies I guess.

The Bachelor Season Premiere Recap: One Night in and Colton's Already in Trouble | TV Guide

Totes fine. Absolutely fine! Standing at the lip-gloss counter seems like it would send her into a tailspin. One single tear falls down her cheek. Why is he here? How did he get here?

How did he know where Cassie was? What a wild girlls

The Bachelor's Colton Underwood compares periods to soiling yourself | Metro News

The timing of this surprise visit is just amazing! What if he had arrived yesterday, off-camera, before Cassie went into her fantasy suite date? This is some deesperate Colton desperate girls for sex shit right now. Smith you can see it, right? Cassie cries because she really likes being on TV, I mean Colton, but her dad tells her to just be brutally honest.

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Brutal honesty! Cut to Cassie Coolton her makeup in the mirror and telling us that she has to send herself home. Meanwhile, Colton is lighting candles in his bedroom and putting on yet another scarf in preparation of his Colton desperate girls for sex with Cassie.

Just sayin'.

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Cassie storms off and talks to a producer about how hard this is. She attempts to break up with Colton about six more times, and he is just not hearing it.

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In his defense — I know, I can't believe I'm defending Colton but just go with Women looking hot sex Gilbert South Carolina — she does all of this "breaking up" while pressing her forehead to his, with her lips three centimeters from his, Colton desperate girls for sex says "I don't know" about a billion times and keeps telling him she loves him.

Not the most effective breakup strategy, if you ask me. Let it go, son. He just repeatedly tells her that he loves her and that he wants it to be her at the end. Someone help her. Let the girl go. He finally relents and walks her out, but not before putting on a black coat that we all know and love from the two years of previews showing him jumping a fence.

The Bachelor Recap: Jump! That! Fence!

After Cassie leaves, Colton goes to his room and grabs his wallet so you know this is serious! He punches a camera and rips off his microphone. Desperae Harrison appears as if from nowhere serious question: Mad respect, if so and Colton desperate girls for sex to go after Colton. And then, it happens. In one impressive and graceful bound, Colton scales a fence.

I am not good at judging heights but I would estimate it somewhere between 5 feet and feet tall. The viewing party goes wild!

Chris Harrison says what all of us are thinking: Producers appear from nowhere. Dogs bark in the distance. Chris Harrison jogs.

A baby cries. A solitary tree falls. Darkness descends. Chaos ensues.

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Colton desperate girls for sex Colton is nowhere to be found. Has he been kidnapped by Portuguese drug smugglers? Did he wander over the edge of a cliff? Has he desperatte refuge in a monastery where he plans to build a life of silence and solitude for himself, free to shower 28 times a day without a cameraman filming him?

Apr 3, The Bachelor's Colton Underwood was very shocked when learning that girls use the same underwear for their period each month. Yes, the. Jan 7, Colton found that one woman wouldn't rest until she finished every last she's not a virgin like Colton, but she thinks sex is a big deal and she finds .. other girls aren't happy about it and that she was coming off desperate. Jan 7, Former NFL player Colton Underwood's already different turn as the man with the The first girl to get an intro package was Cassie, a blonde speech pathologist . and told her she looked "desperate" for being so aggressive with Colton. Sex Education, Jane the Virgin, The Bachelor, The Big Bang.

The Bachelor Recap: Nancy Floyd. Mar 5, 10 AM. By the Numbers Viewing Party Guests: All of them. And Another Thing: Load More Content.